Prepare

This morning I was adding the ingredients needed for a recipe to a grocery list, and proudly thought to myself: “oh, I have celery seed”, and patted myself on the back for having a well prepared spice situation.

It’s the little things, y’all.

I think that one of the first mantras that we internalize as we are growing up is “Be prepared!”. It may be the Boy Scout motto but it is a message that is everywhere; whether or not we do it, we all know we should.

And it’s a good idea right? You should come to class with a pencil. You should wear a coat when it is cold. You should go inside when a storm is coming. You should put gas in your car before a long trip. But I think other things are harder to plan for. They require just a general, overall state of readiness that can be a source of significant anxiety, at least for me.

Because my spice cabinet is prepared for everything, but it is a mess. A lot of times I don’t even know what I’m prepared for when I look on those shelves and I think that the situation in my brain can look very similar. Looking at the chaos, sometimes I wonder if I am prepared for anything at all.

I have received many phone calls in my life I wasn’t ready for.

I wasn’t ready for stay at home orders, cancelled plans and the nuanced planning required to do things that used to be second nature.

I am not sure I was ready for being a Mom, even though I was *aggressively* preparing for that for years.

The disciples at The Last Supper were not prepared to see their friend die a gruesome death in the next hours. The morning when the women set out for the tomb where Jesus was laid, they were prepared to anoint his body as it lay dead in the grave and found no such thing. His followers weren’t prepared to be on their own, building Christ’s church in a hostile world. But they were ready.

So on the days when your brain feels like a jumble of spices in a messy cabinet, have faith that the good work that was begun in you from birth has been preparing you in ways you can’t imagine for the best and worst things you can’t predict.

You won’t feel prepared, but you are ready. Even now.

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