Tag: covid

Perspective

On By skrosenfeldLeave a comment

noun

  1. the art of drawing solid objects on a two-dimensional surface so as to give the right impression of their height, width, depth, and position in relation to each other when viewed from a particular point.
  2. a particular attitude toward or way of regarding something; a point of view.

When I took today’s picture, I was staging images for use last Easter – Virtual Holy Week 1.0, if you will. I was thinking at the time that these things would be good reminders of that crazy, singular time that we were in. It was all new and scary; in the first weeks of the pandemic we were saying things like “well, if we are still doing this by Easter…”

And here we are, about to do it again.

The last two weeks have been difficult; for me and, I’m learning, for quite a few others. I’m chalking it up to emotional exhaustion; hitting that one year wall. I read an article the other day about how the 3/4 mark has proven to be the worst for people living through extreme situations, and that felt about right too.

Willis and I were talking this week about how things are going in his classroom; as a high school choir teacher he is now in the classroom 4 days a week, teaching concurrently to the handful of hybrid students in the room with him and the frequently faceless avatars in the google meet.

It’s awful, is how its going.

He was lamenting the very valid, career altering and emotionally devastating things that he and a lot of the fine arts teachers (all teachers, honestly) are facing right now. And as he was talking, he said something that really stuck with me: “I haven’t lost anyone to the virus, I know I shouldn’t complain, it isn’t that bad.”

I know that perspective is important, crucial even. But my (potentially unpopular) opinion is that over the last year we have nearly weaponized that concept. There have been very real consequences in the last year – very real traumas. There has been an absolutely horrific loss of life, yes, but there are many living in worlds they wouldn’t have chosen for their worst enemy a year ago.

Maybe rather than dismissing our sorrow as not being valid because our loss isn’t significant enough, the perspective we need is that maybe, in some ways, it is that bad. It is ok to look at ourselves in the (hopefully) last quarter of this trial and wish everything was entirely different.

Should we dwell in that? Of course not. But knowing that you have been wounded by circumstances far out of your control is the first part of being able to accept it, and eventually heal.

Looking back on this picture today, I am struck by the brightness of the image in the viewfinder compared to the rest of the room. It was very dark that evening, and with the right perspective the camera was able to use the window and the candles in a really beautiful way.

But it really was dark in the room, and if we hadn’t acknowledged that, we wouldn’t have known what to adjust to find the light.

Prepare

On By skrosenfeldLeave a comment

This morning I was adding the ingredients needed for a recipe to a grocery list, and proudly thought to myself: “oh, I have celery seed”, and patted myself on the back for having a well prepared spice situation.

It’s the little things, y’all.

I think that one of the first mantras that we internalize as we are growing up is “Be prepared!”. It may be the Boy Scout motto but it is a message that is everywhere; whether or not we do it, we all know we should.

And it’s a good idea right? You should come to class with a pencil. You should wear a coat when it is cold. You should go inside when a storm is coming. You should put gas in your car before a long trip. But I think other things are harder to plan for. They require just a general, overall state of readiness that can be a source of significant anxiety, at least for me.

Because my spice cabinet is prepared for everything, but it is a mess. A lot of times I don’t even know what I’m prepared for when I look on those shelves and I think that the situation in my brain can look very similar. Looking at the chaos, sometimes I wonder if I am prepared for anything at all.

I have received many phone calls in my life I wasn’t ready for.

I wasn’t ready for stay at home orders, cancelled plans and the nuanced planning required to do things that used to be second nature.

I am not sure I was ready for being a Mom, even though I was *aggressively* preparing for that for years.

The disciples at The Last Supper were not prepared to see their friend die a gruesome death in the next hours. The morning when the women set out for the tomb where Jesus was laid, they were prepared to anoint his body as it lay dead in the grave and found no such thing. His followers weren’t prepared to be on their own, building Christ’s church in a hostile world. But they were ready.

So on the days when your brain feels like a jumble of spices in a messy cabinet, have faith that the good work that was begun in you from birth has been preparing you in ways you can’t imagine for the best and worst things you can’t predict.

You won’t feel prepared, but you are ready. Even now.

Celebrate

On By skrosenfeldLeave a comment

Today, Sterling Church celebrates the confirmation of a group of young people who had quite the unusual program to grow through. After all, they should have been confirmed last Spring in the earliest throws of the pandemic – they had already been in their confirmation class for nearly a year! I’m sure they were looking forward to their confirmation Sunday, complete with a full sanctuary of loving spectators and banquet to follow.

But like many things in 2020, that didn’t go to plan.

I am sure that anyone who is reading this could make a “CVS Receipt” worthy list of celebrations that should have been different in the last year. Birthdays, holidays, anniversaries.

Graduations. Weddings. Funerals.

We even celebrate communion in a mostly empty room that aches for the laughter and music that used to fill it.

I know in our family we could absolutely list out the big and small moments that were at best very different and at worst, wholly inadequate.

But I think that one of the most inspiring things to me about this mid-pandemic society is the way that the spirit of celebration found a way to grow. Our lives and loves went on and a deep joy and pride bubbled up inside of us; it flowed over the edge of our quarantine mindset and encouraged us to try new things. To seek out new ways to honor our accomplishments, to worship, and to celebrate the most significant moments in our lives.

Or, sometimes, to wait. And that might be the most inspiring celebration of all.

Because to look around and know that the time isn’t right, that is faith.

To have faith that the right time is coming, that is hope.

To hope, and endure the work of waiting, that is love.

And that is worthy of celebration.